Questioner: Falling for someone is no problem, but accepting someone’s love is difficult for me. (Video)

Question-and-Answer Dharma Talk ~ Venerable Pomnyun Sunim

The Question-and-Answer Dharma talk follows a tradition of Buddhism in which Dharma teachers provide appropriate answers to any questions from Dharma talk attendees. Below is an overview of the tradition and content of the talk. The differences between this format and the general Dharma talk are also addressed.

Ven. Pomnyun Sunim is the founder and guiding Zen master
of Jungto Society. He is not only a Buddhist monk and Zen
master but also a social activist who leads various movements
such as ecological awareness campaigns; promotion of
human rights and world peace; and eradication of famine,
disease, and illiteracy.

Spirituality, Enlightenment & The Mind

By Pamela J. Wells

Nothing To Gain, Only Ideas To Lose
Spirituality and enlightenment is not about gaining anything, acquiring anything new. It is about losing all faulty and false thoughts, ideas, and perceptions about yourself and others, about the world around you, that have blocked you from your source, your natural peace and joy that is within you. It is about realizing our connection to one another, to life, to all living creatures, to the earth, sky and to the universe, to the stars and to other planets, and beyond, to other dimensions, from the physical to the spiritual dimension that we can see and cannot see with the naked eye. Spiritual & Physical Body
To be spiritual does not mean to deny the body. You accept all that is. The problem is that the world places too much emphasis on the physical, so there is an imbalance. When there is an imbalance, we move further away from our true nature, peace and joy—and closer to our false self, the ego, where we create and project unnecessary pain and suffering onto ourselves and onto others.
Awareness Transcends Your Analytical Mind, Ideas & Notions
When we live from awareness, we transcend our analytical minds, which dissects everything, separates everything into opposites—duality (ugly/beautiful, right/wrong, good/bad), only creating more conflict, anger, and violence. Yet we are oblivious to what we are doing. Why? Because we were raised on ego, the imaginary idea we have about ourselves, which becomes our reality and truth in our mind, because we are so conditioned to think this way, with this mindset. What we are taught to value, especially in the West, is our “Status” in society, from a child on, we are taught to be better than others, compete, and win. If you do, you are valued in our society. You are valued in your family and by your friends. You are valuable. If you lose, you are a failure, a nobody. People will look down on you. This is the ultimate “Insanity” of our society, the delusion that our mind creates and that is perpetuated throughout our society. None of it is real. That is why we have to wake-up. 
We have to wake-up from delusion to what is real. As long as your mind is swept away, swimming and drowning in the ocean of ego and notions, you cannot see the ocean and what you are doing to yourself and to others. You have to save yourself, because society is not going to do it, because the majority of society is with you in the ocean, swept away, swimming and drowning in the ocean of ego and notions. Grabbing onto and attaching yourself to others who are drowning is just pulling you further under and deeper. You have to break away, to save yourself first, before you can even think about helping and saving someone else. One great way to experience your natural awareness—and start to see everything as it truly is—reality—is to ask yourself a question, “Is what I am thinking real or my imagination?” You could also ask yourself this question, “Is what I am thinking real or societies imagination?”
If you win a ribbon or a trophy, you should be proud of yourself. That is what we are told. The mind creates value out of nothing, out of things that are meaningless. Ascribing meaning to the meaningless, value to the valueless is what our mind creates. Awareness has no value, it just is. When you live in awareness instead of from the ego and all of the minds notions, you can actually feel your natural peace and joy that is within you. Go ahead and compete, if you are an athlete. Have fun, but do not become attached to winning and material objects, like ribbons and trophies. There will come a day when you will no longer be able to compete and if you have not wrapped your identity up into what you have won, your ribbons and trophies, then you will be at peace with yourself and not depressed and down because you are no longer on top and in the headlines and getting the recognition and praise that you once craved so much.    Competing or Embracing & Accepting
The problem with competition is that it is hard to embrace others and be accepting of others, including ourselves, when we are constantly competing with one another over everything, such as over our perceived status in society, educational level, job position, material objects, relationships, etc. The more that you separate yourself off from others, the less you are Self-LESS, the less you are able to see the suffering of others, the less compassionate you are, the less chances there are that you will give to others or volunteer your time to help others and do so unconditionally, not to impress others, but to do what is right and do what your heart is telling you to do. The more you are embracing instead of competing, the more connected you are to others, which creates a wonderful feeling of joy and peace inside of you, that cannot be felt when you are competing.
Watch Your Thoughts
Watch your thoughts. Be consciously aware, mindful, of your thoughts as often as possible. Keep what’s real and throw out the rest. The less, unnecessary, weight that you have on your mind, the lighter you feel, and the easier life becomes. Do not ascribe meaning to the meaningless, value to the valueless. When egoic thoughts pop up, acknowledge them and release them.
The ego is an illusion, but the problem herein lies, when we believe that we are the ego.   Habits that are ingrained in us—over years and even decades—take time and practice to break. Go easy on yourself, let go of guilt, when you slip up, and remember:
Every Day is a New Day to Start Afresh, Every Moment is a New Moment to Start Anew.

For more articles like this, go to Pamela's Spiritual & Inspirational Writer's Blog
Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved Image licensed under Bigstock.com

Feel free to add a comment, if there is anything that you would like to add or any experiences that you would care to share.