By Thich Nhat Hahn
When you plant lettuce,
if it does not grow well,
you don’t blame the lettuce.
You look into the
reasons it is not doing well.
It may need fertilizer,
or more water,
or less sun.
You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems
with our friends
or our family,
we blame the other person.
But if we know
how to take care of them,
they will grow well,
like lettuce.
Blaming has
no positive effect at all,
nor does trying to persuade
using reason and arguments.
That is my experience.
No blame,
no reasoning,
no argument,
just understanding.
If you understand,
and you show
that you understand,
you can love,
and the situation will change.